


My Voice of Reason

by A_Wild_Ivy



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Implied Sexual Content, Mild Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:48:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26401432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Wild_Ivy/pseuds/A_Wild_Ivy
Summary: Renee is having trouble staying focused at an event with all her voices screaming in her ear. Luckily Natalie comes to the rescue.
Relationships: Wattson | Natalie Paquette/Wraith | Renee Blasey
Kudos: 62





	My Voice of Reason

_'Stop, they notice you'_

_'Move. Move now.'_

_'Behind you.'_

_'Danger. DANGER.'_

Renee knew it was a mistake to come, knowing her voices would go haywire like this. Every breath she took and the voices never stopped expressing their worry and scared opinions. No threat was looming over her, only, when she turned around like the voices have said, a tall red machine was standing almost too close for comfort. Close enough for the small women to take a deep breath.

She had to remind herself that no one would do anything to her, at least not yet. Not at a sponsored party where most of the public eye was focused on each legend. Reporters and High class business men knew not to approach Renee, as she was never in the mood to gain anything, but it didn't take away the constant attention even from afar. She saw the stares, always did, and that's why she hates parties. She hates attention and she hates that's she's forced to come everytime.

She could almost hear Witt rambling how 'you should enjoy things like these! Everyone has an eye on you, you know!'. She could imagine him with his stupid grin, but most importantly, his punch able face. His heart was in the right place most of the time, but damn it if he wasn't an idiot. Renee could almost smile at the memory of her best friend but a certain robot stopped her tracks entirely.

Revenant's eyes, if someone could call it that, seemed to follow her vision. When she turned her head, she could feel the Intimidating stare all from behind, and it looked like her voices noticed to.

_'Danger.'_

_'Danger, go_ _.'_

 _'Hide. Run_.'

Her eyes twitched rapidly, moving at an uncomfortable speed for her liking. Brain signals turned on and off, almost like her body was switching from auto pilot. Her head bobbed around in different directions and if she kept up the act, more people were bound to look. With a heavy sigh, Renee focused on one spot in front of her, unmoving until her vision could properly see things perfectly.

She couldn't freak out, not here. She's been so good with past parties and events, how is this one any different? Renee groaned at her mishap, knowing it was out of her control but still taking most of the responsibility for it. It's unprofessional and its crazy. Her extreme anxiety could invade on the matters discussed here and it could stop the flow of things. Last thing she needed was officials yelling at her about how she ruined a sponsored event. Swiftly turning around, she almost forgot about Revenant, whom was still preying those sorry excuse of eyes into her skull.

He was a harmful robot, that being very clear from the beginning, but Renee couldn't think he meant any harm now. He stood motionless, no weapon besides his hands, which was covered up with leather gloves because seeing the robot's bare hands started freaking people out, reminding everyone that he killed people by both hands alone. But right now? With ridiculous gloves and a cheap tie? She knew he would rather kill anyone than trying with her.

Revenant moved slightly, skinny limbs moving and within the next second he seemed uninterested with Renee now, probably going to torment his next poor victim. He stalked away, leaving the women alone finally. She didn't realise she was holding a breath until she relaxed, a puff of hot air releasing from her mouth. Her shoulders weren't tense anymore and it would look like she was letting loose and relaxing.

Renee liked to believe she could stay this way forever. No worries and no stress and importantly, no voices to have her act up and paranoid. She can be normal, she can be herself and not a weird potral jumping freak. People can look at her with respect and not sorrowful pity. She scoffed, amused she even thought of a stress free life.

It was a good fantasy, a fantasy Renee wished she could live. It was near impossible to live a happy remaining life with her condition, she wanted make the most of it but she never could. She tried. Trying to live the happy-go lucky postive mindset never appealed in her favor. There was bad things to everything and it was hard for her to focus on the postives when there's so many negatives to her story. It made her wonder if she could create happy memories though. She hated being in the games as much as everyone does, but she found some amazing people. Amazing friends. She would never admit it out loud but she honestly thinks they improved her live by a ton.

Anita got on her nerves alot, the general always telling her to improve, even when Renee can't. Anita and her don't see eye to eye on a brick load of things but Renee would quietly admit she was helpful at times. Elliott was a good guy too, even when he's spitting nonsense most of the time. He would seem like an unlikely person to be sure of at first, too cocky and egotistical, a type of guy Renee hated the most. The fool made it up with his usual charm though, and the lame jokes.

And Natalie. She smiled at the mental image of her.

Perfect wasn't a word to describe the young scientist, nor amazing either. Wonderful and Thoughtful didn't fit so Renee would have to say there wasn't a word to describe her. Beautiful and talented, Natalie managed to catch the voidwalker's mind with not only her looks, but her personality too. Renee could hardly believe she was in a killing sport, a bloodbath. The only bad thing about Natalie Renee could think of was she designed the stupid ring. It hurt like hell when she was caught in it at times. Maybe she could sweet talk Natalie into decreasing the damage.

Assuming she herself had the ability to sweet talk somebody down was hilarious.

Thinking of the woman, there she somehow goes, walking into Renee's vision. My, my didn't she look delightful, delightful enough to make Renee blush a little. She hid away her face with her hand because she knew of the fact her face was red just looking at her girlfriend.

Her baby blue dress fit around her body perfectly, displaying her curves just right and her hair matched perfectly with her outfit. Her hair was slightly wavy at mid length, clearly styled to right standards. Little hair clips adored all around the blonde hair and a perfect Sun was pinned on side of the dress. Most of all, Natalie was showing off her smile to everyone who has earned it.

While Renee watched her girlfriend from afar, Natalie chatted with Octavio. Something funny must have been said because Renee could hear an adorable giggle from Natalie, lightly clapping her hands together at the joke.

How lucky was Renee exactly? What did she do to deserve someone as sweet as the scientist? Renee was surprised when their friendship turned into something romantic, even months ago Renee thought she was just lucky enough to speak with her, let alone having many chances to admire the woman. Natalie, the day they got together, said she was the lucky one. Renee had to disagree at the fact, Natalie could have anyone in the world, people would drop to her knees for her, and yet she chose a woman with multiple voices in her mind. Even when she told her girlfriend about it, Natalie didn't seem to mind at all. Renee also doubted that but months into the thing they had going on, she had started to belive she was telling the truth. Natalie liked her flaws and Renee liked her's, but there wasn't many flaws to the blonde anyways, at least in her eyes.

Renee was caught up in her thoughts about her girlfriend that she didn't see the woman herself come over, smiling joyfully like she always did. Renee bit her lip, attempting to not melt on the spot. When Natalie spoke, it sounded like what an angel would sound like.

"Want to get out of here?"

Renee never agreed more and followed her way out with Natalie, the young scientist waving goodbye to mutual friends. They held hands when both women were out the door, Natalie setting her head onto Renee's shoulder.

Renee was extremely careful about not letting news reporters and papyracee see them displaying affection in public, Renee herself still a little inexperienced with affection as well. Natalie said she didn't mind, that a known public relationship didn't appeal to her anyway. The secret plan turned around though on their second date, when both of them shared a sweet kiss by a little cafe and a sudden 'Click' was heard. It was too late to turn around because the guy who took it ran off.

Renee would suppose the situation should be bad since the public now knew but it was honestly laughable. Natalie dropped down to the concrete pavement, crying tears of laughter. Renee joined her down to the ground moments later, sharing an even better kiss than before. She knew damn well she'll never forget that day, and her girlfriend's happiness.

They predicted right, the man sent the photo he took to a large company and now it was plastered on all newspapers and magazines related to the Apex Games. The reactions were to be expected, some of the fans thinking it was all for a stunt and others with congratulations for the two. All their friends said their private comments too, Elliott was happy for them. His specific comment being 'Now I don't have many ladies to chase after'. Alexander didn't like the two of them being together but Natalie expected that, the old man didn't like anything but himself and her brains.

Walking up to the second floor of the complex, Renee unlocked the door, and once inside, throwing the keys onto the table. Natalie hummed, walking around the place then eventually sat down on the couch.

"You tidied up, did you finally get your motivation?", she asked while Renee went to go sit next to her. She picked up a blanket to wrap it around them both. She nodded her head.

"I felt better a couple days ago and cleaned my whole apartment", anyone who went inside Renee's apartment knows it wasn't the cleanest of them all. Cup noodles were thrown onto the floor and dirty clothes thrown onto anything and everything. It took hours to even get the living room done and not so long in the bathroom and her room.

Natalie widely grinned, hugging her girlfriend, it seemed, extra tight. Renee laughed at her response and hug lightly back.

"I'm proud of you, Renee! I'm sure it took a challenge!", Natalie paused, pressing a finger to her chin.

"How about today? Was today a good day?", she asked next, innocence evident. Renee didn't like the fact she felt herself and her mood darken. She didn't want to sulk, Natalie and her therapist said it wasn't healthy, but she refused to let down the calm mood.

Renee was about to protest, getting ready to say how great her day was, but Natalie stopped her in her tracks with a softer smile this time. The blonde set her hands into Renee's, holding them gently and close to her chest. Renee lightly gasped at the action, affection still so foreign to her.

"It's okay not to be happy, I know that look. Was... was it your voices again?", Renee told Natalie stories of the voices and how much it ruined her day. Her voices screamed, cursed, and changed her spirit everytime they were around. Sure, it could be considered a blessing but it was more-so a curse.

Renee nodded sorrowfully. Natalie look her girlfriend in the eyes, letting Renee take her full attention.

"It was at the party. Ever since I walked in, the voices kept screaming at me. I-I... y'know I don't like everyone there and all those people in suits and overly applied make-up freaked me out. It all just seemed... so fake. So fake. We're people, and I know it's a sponsored fling but that wasn't some royal ball. We're just people in a killing game...", Renee sighed, picking nervously at her finger.

"We're nothing special."

Natalie looked perplexed, like she was deep in thought. Had Renee said something she wasn't supposed to? Did she accidentally hurt her feelings? Renee sqeezed tightly on her lover's hands, moving closer to her.

So, so lucky.

"I'm okay now", Renee said after a couple of seconds, too distracted by Natalie's soft blue eyes. "Just looking at you alone and it feels like my whole world is lighting up." Renee knew she was blushing, her cheeks were just burning up, or she just had a fever.

Natalie blushed even more, taking the blanket and covering it up with her face. She grumbled but she didn't sound like she was upset, just embarrassed.

"Renee, you're too kind", Natalie's voice was muffled by the blanket. Renee raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry I can't hear you, what was that?", Renee said with a smirk.

This time, Natalie groaned even louder, shaking her head violently under the comfort of the blanket. "I refuse to say!"

"Then I'm just gonna have to join you", before Natalie could protest against her girlfriend, she dived her head under the blanket, her whole body disappearing from the view and only seen by Natalie.

They were close, bodies touching in a perfect way and Renne's lips close to Natalie's. Both women stuttered, muttering their excuses and apologies for being so close.

But despite moving, Natalie and Renee stayed close, not daring to say another word.

Renee's mind was going off the charts. It felt like her head was going to explode and her belly felt like it was full with moths. They've never gotten passionate with each other before, the relationship only being a couple months ago. If Renee picks up the wrong hint, would Natalie forgive her? Would Natalie want to save herself until they stayed together longer? Renee swallowed, hands shaking slightly when she set it against Natalie's chest area.

"Tell me when to stop and I will", she spoke softly before her lips crashed into Natalie's.

The kiss felt the same as every other, except with more deeper passion and love. Renee was sure if she didn't occupy her girlfriend's mouth, Natalie would go on to make a pun about sparks flying.

Sparks sure flew though and even Natalie knows that. Renee's hands, now tangled into some blonde strands, softly pulled at the hair, Natalie thanking the action with a soft groan.

Air was certainly a problem and humans needed it to breathe. Renee released with a soft pop, pulling the blanket off them both as it was getting too hot. Both Renee and Natalie panted, softly catching back the loss of oxygen in their systems.

Neither one spoke for a while, the only sound being the hot breaths passing through their lips. Renee was starting to get reminiscent of Natalie's soft lips on hers, pressed together like their lips were meant to fit each other's.

The young blonde spoke up first, and when she did, she looked at Renee with a glow over her face. She didn't look sad or out of breath, but Renee dared thought lustful.

"That was... amazing, I didn't know tonight we would be making out", she chuckled, taking her eyes off of Renee to look around the room thoughtfully. "I enjoyed it."

Those last words got Renee unusually excited. She didn't know what Natalie meant by that but it sure sent a jolt from her head down to her thighs.

"May we-", Before Renee would get the rest of the sentence out, Natalie shot up to kiss her again, this time more roughly.

Renee's head fell back on the couch, Natalie moving to crawl on top of her. Renee, though being pleasantly surprised, returned the strong feelings, kissing Natalie with the same force and the same dominance.

Renee realised she really was happy, even if she had the voices or not. They didn't matter, she had her friends and she especially had an amazing girlfriend who cared.

Life was never easy on Renee, giving her the toughest of challenges to face. She walked through hell and back just to get where she was now.

This just seemed like her reward.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first published Apex fic! I rushed it at the beginning so I'm sorry if that format is weird. For the end though, go wherever your mind leads you ;)


End file.
